What is it like to have no thing on Your mind?
disconnect 021/237
[27 April 2025]
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Over the last weeks, I unintentionally created a new ritual for every second Wednesday afternoon. I get on the subway and head to Ku’damm. I walk to the aviaries at Kranzler Eck and spend a moment of stillness and joy observing the parrots. Then, I follow the tracks toward Bahnhof Zoo and end up at C/O Café to write the next draft of disconnect.
I order a homemade lavender lemonade, write for 40 minutes. I take a 10-minute break, go downstairs to the restroom, order a decaf cappuccino with oat milk, and write for another 40 minutes. Before heading home, I stop by the parrots again to say hi/goodbye.
Today, I couldn’t. The aviaries are under construction. I hope they’ll be done soon (hopefully in two weeks, when I’m here again).
It’s April 16 today. It feels like the first day of summer in Berlin. Well over 20 degrees, the trees in front of the café have started to bud. Countless small, light green leaves on their branches. I’m sitting inside, at the second-to-last table, all the way in the back. It’s almost empty. Most guests are outside, soaking up the sun.
On my way here, I thought about what to write. I decided not to think about it in advance. I want to just sit down, open my notebook, enjoy my drinks and the calm, but not silent, atmosphere, and write down whatever comes to my mind.
The mix of background chatter, the baristas’ working noises, and the music playing at a low volume is soothing (it’s so low I can’t identify what’s playing right now—all I can tell is that there is music playing).
It’s April 16 today. 365 days ago, I boarded a plane to Toronto, full of curiosity for the year ahead. This morning, I wrote a note on a blank A4 printing paper sheet with one of the XL Sharpies I bought at Dollarama on Dufferin St:
it is finished
It’s the note that precedes a series of 40 notes I’ll share on Instagram daily, leading up to the release of 40 Nights in Toronto.
When I realized that today, not only did I fly to Toronto exactly one year ago, but also my Canadian visa would have ended if I had stayed, I had a full circle moment.
it is finished
It’s not an ending, though. It’s a beginning.
I will release 40 Nights in Toronto on 13 June [audio only]. The audiovisual premiere will take place on 14 June [at Gerichtstr 23, 13347 Berlin]. You can already add it to your calendar. I’ll share more details soon. I’d love to see you there for a shared moment of disconnect.
The café is getting fuller now, inside too. Both tables next to me, left and right, are occupied. Nevertheless, the background chatter is quieter, the music more audible. Stronger by Christina Aguilera is playing. A great song, both musically and message-wise. Because of the summery weather today (it’s the first day this year I’m out without a hoodie over my crewneck), I just ordered an iced cappuccino. Creamy, cold, smooth — slightly bitter, slightly sweet.
The release of 40 Nights in Toronto will be another full-circle moment. I filmed the video on June 13. I reviewed the footage the following day, on June 14. When I saw it for the first time, I felt it was it. This version of my night walk through PATH and the Financial District—an area I curiously explored, night after night—perfectly captured the feelings it evoked in me:
Entering a different world.
Feeling detached from reality.
Eintauchen in solitude and emptiness.
Walking through an alternate reality (there is more than one) where everything is calm, spacious, and slightly unreal.
A space where the mind can wander. Go wherever it wants. Just as I did.
Last week, after a day full of video meetings at my day job, I took a late walk through Steglitz—between 9 and 10 PM—and wrote down some thoughts.
I once said: night walks are always a good idea, because you’ll have good ideas.
Right now though: nothing on my mind (in a positive way).
I’m starting to see the value of nothingness.
Things that seem unexciting at first → a chance to see your environment differently (distraction-free) -> new details appear.
When I meditate, I am intentionally emptying my mind.
What I’m experiencing right now is different.
Unintentional emptiness.
At the end of a busy day, I often feel empty.
Empty = exhausted. No energy left to communicate.
The emptiness I’m feeling right now (at the end of the day) is different.
Positive emptiness.
I want to write about emptiness. About nothingness. Can I write something about nothing?
So here I am, sitting at the second-to-last table all the way to the back in the C/O Café, drafting the next episode of disconnect. I’ve filled six pages in my notebook.
There’s no thing on my mind now. I feel empty.
positive emptiness
I still have half of my iced decaf cappuccino with oat milk left in the glass. The three large ice cubes have melted by about 50%, and the timer on my phone will still run for another 21 minutes until the second 40-minute writing session ends.
Time to close the notebook and enjoy having no thing on my mind.
When was the last time you had no thing on your mind?
Do you remember what it felt like?
Did you enjoy it?
Enjoy your day (or night).
glg Soda