Going out to experience art once a week had become a chore rather than something exciting. What used to feel sacred — being by myself, disconnecting, entering a different world that offers new perspectives, expanding and enriching my own — had turned into merely an item on my schedule waiting to be checked off.

2025/11/04

89/237       
live in your own world.
[presence]

own
  I
 \/
i feel that some of my current routines, regular activities, … are not my own. i adapted them, hoping to become and they helped me to get as close to my vision of my life [my truth] as i am now. now, however, it could [will?] be beneficial to revise everything i do to get [even] closer to my blueprint
—> leave behind what no longer serves me

2025/11/05

90/237       
live in your own world.   
[presence]

leave behind what no longer serves me

what is it atm?

trying to forcefully squeeze everything i want to do into one day/week and, even though i manage to do everything i want/ need to do, not having simply time for myself        *former
[*liminal space sundays]

2025/11/06

91/237       
live in your own world.
[presence]
   I
  \/
no searching

recently, i’ve found it difficult to find [art-related] activities that excited me [e.g. exhibitions i was looking forward to visit] — i [re] searched, and nothing seemed appealing. then, i saw a poster for the current exhibition at the neue nationalgalerie randomly when i passed through the rathaus steglitz s bahn station — i was immediately intrigued and will go next wednesday
–> no searching needed, just presence [mit offenen augen durch die welt gehen]

So here I am, on Wednesday, 12 November, 3:40 p.m., leaning back comfortably in a black leather lounge chair in the lobby of the Neue Nationalgalerie after visiting their current special exhibition Max Ernst to Dorothea Tanning – Networks Of Surrealism.

In July, I started reading Surreal Spaces: The Life and Art of Leonora Carrington. I hadn’t been particularly interested in the art movement surrealism before, but the book caught my interest because finding and filming surreal spaces has been at the center of attention for my own art. 
Art that blurs the line between what is real and what isn’t. Art that makes you question what is even real. Art that lets imagination and truth verschmelzen. A reminder that there is more than one reality, more than one world we live in.

Reading about Leonora Carrington’s life and art didn’t just bring me closer to surrealism and lead me to the exhibition at the Neue Nationalgalerie [Max Ernst was her partner for several years, and the exhibition includes one painting by Leonora as well — Ladies Run, There Is a Man in the Rose Garden]. It made me understand the final phrase of my recent ‘What person would I like to be’ reflections better: I would like to be a person who lives a life that feels right for them.

Exceptional artists’ biographies are inspiring. It can be interesting and motivating to learn how they grew up, what hardships they overcame, how they created, how their daily life looks or looked. I had found this inspiring for the wrong reasons though, as I realized now.

It is not about finding out what extraordinary people do and imitating their behavior, adopting their routines, following their paths. Reading about Leonora Carrington’s life opened my eyes to the fact that the true inspiration lies in the obsession to create and follow one’s very own blueprint.

‘It [surrealism] had its own manifestos, but Leonora told me she was never interested in these. ‘I didn’t read the surrealist manifesto. I think a lot of other people [in the group] did, but I didn’t. Why should I read it? I didn’t want anyone else to tell me what to do or what to think. I’ve never had anyone tell me what to do or what to think.’
[Joanna Moorhead, Surreal Spaces: The Life and Art of Leonora Carrington, p. 82]

Are you following Your blueprint?

glg Soda Paapi

Going out to experience art once a week had become a chore rather than something exciting. What used to feel sacred — being by myself, disconnecting, entering a different world that offers new perspectives, expanding and enriching my own — had turned into merely an item on my schedule waiting to be checked off.

2025/11/04

89/237       
live in your own world.
[presence]

own
  I
 \/
i feel that some of my current routines, regular activities, … are not my own. i adapted them, hoping to become and they helped me to get as close to my vision of my life [my truth] as i am now. now, however, it could [will?] be beneficial to revise everything i do to get [even] closer to my blueprint
—> leave behind what no longer serves me

2025/11/05

90/237       
live in your own world.   
[presence]

leave behind what no longer serves me

what is it atm?

trying to forcefully squeeze everything i want to do into one day/week and, even though i manage to do everything i want/ need to do, not having simply time for myself        *former
[*liminal space sundays]

2025/11/06

91/237       
live in your own world.
[presence]
   I
  \/
no searching

recently, i’ve found it difficult to find [art-related] activities that excited me [e.g. exhibitions i was looking forward to visit] — i [re] searched, and nothing seemed appealing. then, i saw a poster for the current exhibition at the neue nationalgalerie randomly when i passed through the rathaus steglitz s bahn station — i was immediately intrigued and will go next wednesday
–> no searching needed, just presence [mit offenen augen durch die welt gehen]

So here I am, on Wednesday, 12 November, 3:40 p.m., leaning back comfortably in a black leather lounge chair in the lobby of the Neue Nationalgalerie after visiting their current special exhibition Max Ernst to Dorothea Tanning – Networks Of Surrealism.

In July, I started reading Surreal Spaces: The Life and Art of Leonora Carrington. I hadn’t been particularly interested in the art movement surrealism before, but the book caught my interest because finding and filming surreal spaces has been at the center of attention for my own art. 
Art that blurs the line between what is real and what isn’t. Art that makes you question what is even real. Art that lets imagination and truth verschmelzen. A reminder that there is more than one reality, more than one world we live in.

Reading about Leonora Carrington’s life and art didn’t just bring me closer to surrealism and lead me to the exhibition at the Neue Nationalgalerie [Max Ernst was her partner for several years, and the exhibition includes one painting by Leonora as well — Ladies Run, There Is a Man in the Rose Garden]. It made me understand the final phrase of my recent ‘What person would I like to be’ reflections better: I would like to be a person who lives a life that feels right for them.

Exceptional artists’ biographies are inspiring. It can be interesting and motivating to learn how they grew up, what hardships they overcame, how they created, how their daily life looks or looked. I had found this inspiring for the wrong reasons though, as I realized now.

It is not about finding out what extraordinary people do and imitating their behavior, adopting their routines, following their paths. Reading about Leonora Carrington’s life opened my eyes to the fact that the true inspiration lies in the obsession to create and follow one’s very own blueprint.

‘It [surrealism] had its own manifestos, but Leonora told me she was never interested in these. ‘I didn’t read the surrealist manifesto. I think a lot of other people [in the group] did, but I didn’t. Why should I read it? I didn’t want anyone else to tell me what to do or what to think. I’ve never had anyone tell me what to do or what to think.’
[Joanna Moorhead, Surreal Spaces: The Life and Art of Leonora Carrington, p. 82]

Are you following Your blueprint?

glg Soda Paapi