In Love With Solitude
disconnect 005/237: What's your motivation to get out of bed every morning?
[15 September 2024]
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Sometimes, I believe that nothing we do matters. And sometimes, I believe that every little thing we do, no matter how small it may seem, matters.
When you look at the history of planet Earth and the solar system, or even zoom out further than that and look at the universe, we seem ridiculously tiny and insignificant. Our individual existence is so brief that I struggle to comprehend the significance of anything we do in the grand scheme of things.
On the other hand, I believe that every little thing we do, no matter how small or seemingly irrelevant, matters. Just one small action that changes the course of your day or someone else’s can lead to a chain reaction and result in a completely different outcome than if that initial action hadn’t taken place or had taken place differently. If we consider how each person’s small actions affect the world every day, we can see how our collective behavior could potentially create a different world.
With this contradiction of ‘nothing and everything matters at the same time’ in mind, I have been asking myself quite often: What’s the motivation for getting up every morning?
Some people know what they want to do for the rest of their lives from a young age. For example, my brother, according to the family legend, said he wanted to become a civil engineer while playing with excavators in the sandbox. He completed high school, obtained a degree in civil engineering, and has been successfully working as a civil engineer for about 10 years now.
And then there are people like me, struggling to find their place in this world, sometimes feeling lost in it, and having difficulty figuring out what they want to dedicate their lives to. Or at least, that's what I thought applies to me.
When I take a step back and look at my life, it becomes clear that there is one thing that has been present for more than half of my life now - making music. And, ever since graduating from university and entering the professional world, I’ve dedicated more and more of my time to making music to escape this world I’ve been struggling to see myself part of.
The difference between me and my brother, who has always wanted to be a civil engineer and eventually became one, is that I've never seen it as possible or realistic to make this one thing I’ve always wanted to do the essence of my life and become a professional artist.
18 years after recording my first self-written song, and having spent countless hours that probably add up to several months without getting anything out of it but my own joy (and more often than I’d like to admit frustration), and after a long time of living a life of surrendering to uncertainty and being okay with ‘not knowing’, and seeing where it takes me, my ‘what can I contribute to this world?’, my ‘what can I give to improve other people’s lives?’ couldn’t be more obvious - making art.
This realization lead me to further questions: How, and for whom?
If one thing is certain, it is that there is no one-size-fits-all solution for anything in life. Appealing to all tastes will never work, and, if you try, the result most likely will be boring and lack character.
Art is supposed to divide opinions, not be for everyone, attract some, and reject others. And, show a vision of a better world, a world that looks different from the world we are living in now, and take those who feel similarly to this new world.
Where would I like to see the world evolve? What about the world would I like to change with my art?
I don’t like that we live in a world where we are rarely truly by ourselves, and society is all about being social and connected all the time.
I want to make audiovisual art that shows the beauty and power of disconnecting and creates experiences of solitude for people like me who love to be alone and need to be due to the overwhelming and overstimulating world we live in.
I envision a world where we follow our true desires, not societal pressure.
A world in which it is okay to not always be available and reachable, where it is normal to be alone and to disconnect from society when we feel the need to do so - ideally, not only when it's too late because we don't feel like ourselves anymore.
I want to change the perception of being alone into a positive one.
I want to make it something desirable and encourage you to not feel bad for wanting to be and spending a lot of time alone. I want my art to inspire you to engage in moments of solitude and disconnection more often - to destress, to recharge, to (re)connect with yourself.
I believe that we are better off if we disconnect more often.
Are you with me?
glg Soda Paapi
PS: Today, I’d like to share a synth stem from the intro for 40 Nights in Toronto with you. I invite you to play it and disconnect from everything that’s happening around you in this moment.
Let go of your thoughts, observe, and listen. Behave as if there was no time. Let your intuition guide you.
[media unavailable]
PPS: If you have any feedback about my art and/or this newsletter, I’m curious to hear it!
In Love With Solitude
disconnect 005/237: What's your motivation to get out of bed every morning?
[15 September 2024]
-----------------------
Sometimes, I believe that nothing we do matters. And sometimes, I believe that every little thing we do, no matter how small it may seem, matters.
When you look at the history of planet Earth and the solar system, or even zoom out further than that and look at the universe, we seem ridiculously tiny and insignificant. Our individual existence is so brief that I struggle to comprehend the significance of anything we do in the grand scheme of things.
On the other hand, I believe that every little thing we do, no matter how small or seemingly irrelevant, matters. Just one small action that changes the course of your day or someone else’s can lead to a chain reaction and result in a completely different outcome than if that initial action hadn’t taken place or had taken place differently. If we consider how each person’s small actions affect the world every day, we can see how our collective behavior could potentially create a different world.
With this contradiction of ‘nothing and everything matters at the same time’ in mind, I have been asking myself quite often: What’s the motivation for getting up every morning?
Some people know what they want to do for the rest of their lives from a young age. For example, my brother, according to the family legend, said he wanted to become a civil engineer while playing with excavators in the sandbox. He completed high school, obtained a degree in civil engineering, and has been successfully working as a civil engineer for about 10 years now.
And then there are people like me, struggling to find their place in this world, sometimes feeling lost in it, and having difficulty figuring out what they want to dedicate their lives to. Or at least, that's what I thought applies to me.
When I take a step back and look at my life, it becomes clear that there is one thing that has been present for more than half of my life now - making music. And, ever since graduating from university and entering the professional world, I’ve dedicated more and more of my time to making music to escape this world I’ve been struggling to see myself part of.
The difference between me and my brother, who has always wanted to be a civil engineer and eventually became one, is that I've never seen it as possible or realistic to make this one thing I’ve always wanted to do the essence of my life and become a professional artist.
18 years after recording my first self-written song, and having spent countless hours that probably add up to several months without getting anything out of it but my own joy (and more often than I’d like to admit frustration), and after a long time of living a life of surrendering to uncertainty and being okay with ‘not knowing’, and seeing where it takes me, my ‘what can I contribute to this world?’, my ‘what can I give to improve other people’s lives?’ couldn’t be more obvious - making art.
This realization lead me to further questions: How, and for whom?
If one thing is certain, it is that there is no one-size-fits-all solution for anything in life. Appealing to all tastes will never work, and, if you try, the result most likely will be boring and lack character.
Art is supposed to divide opinions, not be for everyone, attract some, and reject others. And, show a vision of a better world, a world that looks different from the world we are living in now, and take those who feel similarly to this new world.
Where would I like to see the world evolve? What about the world would I like to change with my art?
I don’t like that we live in a world where we are rarely truly by ourselves, and society is all about being social and connected all the time.
I want to make audiovisual art that shows the beauty and power of disconnecting and creates experiences of solitude for people like me who love to be alone and need to be due to the overwhelming and overstimulating world we live in.
I envision a world where we follow our true desires, not societal pressure.
A world in which it is okay to not always be available and reachable, where it is normal to be alone and to disconnect from society when we feel the need to do so - ideally, not only when it's too late because we don't feel like ourselves anymore.
I want to change the perception of being alone into a positive one.
I want to make it something desirable and encourage you to not feel bad for wanting to be and spending a lot of time alone. I want my art to inspire you to engage in moments of solitude and disconnection more often - to destress, to recharge, to (re)connect with yourself.
I believe that we are better off if we disconnect more often.
Are you with me?
glg Soda Paapi
PS: Today, I’d like to share a synth stem from the intro for 40 Nights in Toronto with you. I invite you to play it and disconnect from everything that’s happening around you in this moment.
Let go of your thoughts, observe, and listen. Behave as if there was no time. Let your intuition guide you.
[media unavailable]
PPS: If you have any feedback about my art and/or this newsletter, I’m curious to hear it!