Reset And Act To Get What You Need
disconnect 001/237
[30 July 2024]
-----------------------
Hi!
Do you know what you want in life? And do you know what you need in life? And, are those two quite similar, or rather different?
Today, I’d like to share an experience with you that I had about 2 weeks ago that brought me some clarity regarding these questions.
On a Friday night, I wanted to see Galcher Lustwerk playing at Tresor/Globus in Berlin. He is one of my biggest influences when it comes to music production, and I’ve never seen him perform live before, so I was quite excited to go (if you’ve never heard of him, I’d recommend listening to 100% Galcher).
However, I haven't been going out at night for a long time, and over the last few months, I've established a routine of going to bed early and waking up early. Before leaving the house to go to Tresor, I was already incredibly tired and didn’t feel like going. However, I pushed myself to go - because, hey, one of my favorite artists was performing live, and I really wanted to see them play.
When I arrived at the club and waited in line to get in, my excitement didn’t go up, even though the waiting time didn’t seem that long. It was rather the opposite: I started to feel uncomfortable and overwhelmed from being around too many people. For a moment, I felt lost, anxious, and dizzy, and breathing wasn't as easy as usual.
It’s not the first time I have experienced such feelings when going out. However, this time, there was a difference that made me realize the true origin of these feelings.
Waiting in line on that Friday night felt similar to the sensation before I passed out, which happened to me four times several years ago at concerts and in clubs. I’ve always thought these incidents were caused by alcohol, smoking, and a lack of oxygen in small and/or packed venues.
Even though those factors have had an impact, the feeling I had that Friday night while standing in line outside of Tresor, on a breezy summer night, sober as a judge, showed me that more than anything, it’s been about being overwhelmed and feeling anxious, caused by being surrounded by too many people.
Eventually, I was super happy that the bouncer rejected me because I couldn’t wait to get home and get a good night’s sleep.
Now you may ask yourself, how does all of this relate to the questions I started this newsletter with?
Ever since I first rented a studio in 2020, I've been thinking about professionalizing my artistic output and making it the focus of my life. Moving away from making rap music and experimenting with producing electronic music, and living in Berlin, surrounded by clubs, DJs, and nightlife had me thinking that becoming part of this world would be the way to go if I wanted to achieve my goal.
It’s been clear to me what I want. But not what I need. That changed this year after receiving my autism diagnosis and spending a long time introspecting during my time in Toronto.
I noticed that while I love producing electronic music, being in the environments in which it's consumed and presented is not sustainable for me as an autistic person. And I'm certain I'm not the only one who feels this way when going out, often feeling overwhelmed, overstimulated, and uncomfortable in environments like clubs, parties, and festivals. Therefore, I want to create a different way of experiencing music for those that feel like me.
I envision a way of experiencing music that’s not as energy-consuming and overstimulating as going to a club, concert, or festival, but rather relaxing, grounding, and calming. Something that focuses on the music, but expands beyond it, since music is so much more than just sound.
Creating this is what my vision for my upcoming project 40 Nights in Toronto is about. It will be an album that takes you on a journey of introspection, self-transformation, and relaxation. The music will be the foundation for an entire exhibition I will build around it. You will be able to experience the music accompanied by videos, brought to life as visual installations, and other artworks that are directly related to the music.
Starting with today’s newsletter, I will share snippets of the songs I am producing for this project with you every two weeks until it’s finished. Without further ado, here’s the first one – Reset and act to get what you need:
[media unavailable]
Enjoy your day or night!
glg Soda Paapi
PS: If you have any feedback about my music and/or my newsletter, I’m always happy to hear it!
Reset And Act To Get What You Need
disconnect 001/237
[30 July 2024]
-----------------------
Hi!
Do you know what you want in life? And do you know what you need in life? And, are those two quite similar, or rather different?
Today, I’d like to share an experience with you that I had about 2 weeks ago that brought me some clarity regarding these questions.
On a Friday night, I wanted to see Galcher Lustwerk playing at Tresor/Globus in Berlin. He is one of my biggest influences when it comes to music production, and I’ve never seen him perform live before, so I was quite excited to go (if you’ve never heard of him, I’d recommend listening to 100% Galcher).
However, I haven't been going out at night for a long time, and over the last few months, I've established a routine of going to bed early and waking up early. Before leaving the house to go to Tresor, I was already incredibly tired and didn’t feel like going. However, I pushed myself to go - because, hey, one of my favorite artists was performing live, and I really wanted to see them play.
When I arrived at the club and waited in line to get in, my excitement didn’t go up, even though the waiting time didn’t seem that long. It was rather the opposite: I started to feel uncomfortable and overwhelmed from being around too many people. For a moment, I felt lost, anxious, and dizzy, and breathing wasn't as easy as usual.
It’s not the first time I have experienced such feelings when going out. However, this time, there was a difference that made me realize the true origin of these feelings.
Waiting in line on that Friday night felt similar to the sensation before I passed out, which happened to me four times several years ago at concerts and in clubs. I’ve always thought these incidents were caused by alcohol, smoking, and a lack of oxygen in small and/or packed venues.
Even though those factors have had an impact, the feeling I had that Friday night while standing in line outside of Tresor, on a breezy summer night, sober as a judge, showed me that more than anything, it’s been about being overwhelmed and feeling anxious, caused by being surrounded by too many people.
Eventually, I was super happy that the bouncer rejected me because I couldn’t wait to get home and get a good night’s sleep.
Now you may ask yourself, how does all of this relate to the questions I started this newsletter with?
Ever since I first rented a studio in 2020, I've been thinking about professionalizing my artistic output and making it the focus of my life. Moving away from making rap music and experimenting with producing electronic music, and living in Berlin, surrounded by clubs, DJs, and nightlife had me thinking that becoming part of this world would be the way to go if I wanted to achieve my goal.
It’s been clear to me what I want. But not what I need. That changed this year after receiving my autism diagnosis and spending a long time introspecting during my time in Toronto.
I noticed that while I love producing electronic music, being in the environments in which it's consumed and presented is not sustainable for me as an autistic person. And I'm certain I'm not the only one who feels this way when going out, often feeling overwhelmed, overstimulated, and uncomfortable in environments like clubs, parties, and festivals. Therefore, I want to create a different way of experiencing music for those that feel like me.
I envision a way of experiencing music that’s not as energy-consuming and overstimulating as going to a club, concert, or festival, but rather relaxing, grounding, and calming. Something that focuses on the music, but expands beyond it, since music is so much more than just sound.
Creating this is what my vision for my upcoming project 40 Nights in Toronto is about. It will be an album that takes you on a journey of introspection, self-transformation, and relaxation. The music will be the foundation for an entire exhibition I will build around it. You will be able to experience the music accompanied by videos, brought to life as visual installations, and other artworks that are directly related to the music.
Starting with today’s newsletter, I will share snippets of the songs I am producing for this project with you every two weeks until it’s finished. Without further ado, here’s the first one – Reset and act to get what you need:
[media unavailable]
Enjoy your day or night!
glg Soda Paapi
PS: If you have any feedback about my music and/or my newsletter, I’m always happy to hear it!